The Four Tendencies

The Four Tendencies
Title: The Four Tendencies
Author: Gretchen Rubin
Date Reviewed: 16th March 2019
10 out of 10
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I think I’m becoming quite a fan of Gretchen Rubin. I read her book The Happiness Project a few years ago and loved it. And she recently came to my attention again recently when a friend started raving about her theory of the four tendencies. This intrigued me, so I started by taking The Four Tendencies Quiz and discovered that I’m an obliger.

In a nutshell this means that I’m better at meeting expectations if they are for someone else and struggle with my own goals. Is that why I have such good intentions about starting things but struggle to finish?

I found this really interesting so went on to read the book to get the fuller picture.

So, it turns out that obliger is the most common of the four tendencies. Boo hiss, there was I thinking that I’m special… I spent the first part of the book really wishing that I was an upholder. Everyone has a crossover with a second tendency, so maybe that’s mine – I can but hope!

But the really interesting thing is that I learnt that to achieve my goals I need accountability. So, if I want to achieve something I should buddy up to have someone who will hold me accountable. Actually, I am actively applying this in a small way. I like to get up early in the morning because that’s my best time to work, but the desire to get up can be somewhat lacking first thing. So, I’ve started parking my car in the school car park over the road because I know that I have to move it at 7ish in the morning before the staff start arriving. That really works for me because I don’t want to be the annoying person who’s left their car in the car park!

Not only is the book great for helping your recognise how you work yourself, but it can also help you deal more effectively with other people. It helps you work out how to phrase things in a way that other tendencies will understand. I’d love to find out what tendency my partner is. I think he might be a questioner, but I need to persuade him to take the quiz.

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