Lunch with the ladies (and gents)
Went to a cracking networking event today. It was lunch at a nice restaurant in Penzance with members of Network Cornwall, which is a networking group for women in Cornwall. At least that’s what it has been up until now, but they’ve decided that they can’t legally keep it just to women because of discrimination so a few men have started to pop up. I wonder how they found it being in a group of predominantly women.
Anyway, I had a fab time. Spoke to a few ladies I’d met before and a few that I hadn’t. It’s always such a great atmosphere at these events and the food is fantastic. What more can you ask for?
A busy week
After a fairly quiet couple of weeks things have definitely been getting busier this week. I was meant to go speed networking today but decided that doing a quote for a prospective client had to take precedence. I was going to go but 5 minutes before I was due to leave I was on the point of stressing out over getting things done, so decided to stay and work instead. Turned out to be a good move because I’ve got loads done and can start the weekend without any important jobs hanging over me.
How to Talk to Anyone
You know what it’s like when you go to a networking event and there are one or two there who seem to just breeze around the room, being greeted by loads of people they already know and talking to new people with ease? Wouldn’t you love to be just like that? I know I would, but instead I’m the one nervously standing in the door desperately looking around for a friendly face. Actually, I’m not as bad as I used to be, I’ve definitely got more confident but I would like to feel more comfortable with striking up a conversation with someone I’ve never met before.
One of my fears when it comes to networking is not knowing what to say when I meet someone for the first time. This book provides you with techniques for overcoming that - not just things to say, but the whole thing from how to enter a room and choose who to talk to, to how not to answer certain questions that might leave the other person at a loss as to how to respond. Great stuff! I can certainly see how I can do things differently. A lot of it is being more aware of how you are reacting to the situation.
I’ve got this one down as a book to dip into every now and then. I don’t think I’m going to be able to go out there and put all 92 tips into practice straight away, I’d never remember them all. So, I think the thing to do would be to try out one or two at a time and see how they help, gradually improving my networking and conversational skills.
Rating: 
Social networking etiquette
Today I’ve been trying to figure out what my policy should be as to Facebook friend requests from people I don’t know. I’ve got a couple where the only connection is that they are also friends with one of my ‘friends’. Apart from that I don’t know who they are or why they want to add me to their friends list. I suspect it is for ‘networking’ purposes - the mutual friend is a business networking friend rather than personal.
However, is it a good start to a networking relationship to send an apparently random friendship request with no accompanying note? I would have preferred some sort of hello and why they want to be friends with me - would have started it off on a better footing. Instead I’m left wondering who they are and have had to send a note to them saying ‘erm, do I know you?’. I’m giving them both a week and if I don’t get a reply will have to reject them.
What’s the accepted etiquette of this? Am I being too demanding in wanting a bit more than ‘whodjewhatsit wants to be friends with you’?
Fear and networking in Cornwall
We had a less than satisfactory networking experience last night. We went to a seminar/networking event run by one of our local business networks. These events are always pretty good with the seminar bit being really worth going to so we had decided to both attend. Big mistake. We’ve noticed it before but keep trying again - we’re just no good at networking if we go to an event together. We always end up talking ourselves out of it and leaving early.
As usual the speakers were excellent and we got a lot out of that, but as soon as it ended we went all unsure of ourselves and couldn’t bring ourselves to go and talk to anyone else. Pathetic isn’t it? I’d been all geared up to meet new people, but there is something about being with my partner that holds me back. On the way home we did the usual disection and came to the conclusion that I should go to stuff on my own - being on my own makes me much braver and I get a lot more out of it.
So a bit of a knock to our confidence, but I’m not letting it completely do away with what confidence I’ve gained over the last few weeks. I just have to go to more stuff and build on my networking skills. I know I can do it, it’s just unfortunately something that I have to do without my partner.
Pushing past that comfort zone!
I’ve had a couple of days of doing things that stretch my comfort zone. Thursday evening I went to my first book club meeting. I felt quite nervous beforehand because I really didn’t know what to expect, but of course when I got there it was absolutely fine. It turned out that I already knew the woman who organises it (just hadn’t made the connection between name and face) and she was incredibly welcoming and encouraging, as were the rest of the group. I can’t wait for the next one now. What I need to work on is being more confident about speaking without having to be encouraged first.
And yesterday I went to my first speed networking event. There were a few familiar faces there which was good but I also spoke to lots of people I hadn’t met before. It was a really positive afternoon - I got some good reactions to my introduction and have made some promising contacts. Apart from a couple of people everyone was really nice and went out of their way to be interested. There was one bloke who I found completely rude - while I did my 60-second intro he actively looked bored and then told me that he had no interest in my business because he already had a website - then he went on to try to sell me his product… Come on, he only had to pretend to be interested for 60 seconds, that’s not much to ask is it?
Overall a really good, confidence-boosting couple of days. Just need to keep it up.
My second week of brilliance
I’m at the end of the second week of my 90 days of brilliance. The highlight of my week was joining the A1 Business Forums and I already feel like I’m settling in there. I’ve stuck to my plan pretty well - I’m not always doing everything on the day that I’d planned to do it but everything on the list seems to be getting ticked off. One of my tasks for today is to plan the next 7 days. Must remember not to cram too much into each day.
The most ‘non brilliant’ thing this week is continuing problems with the bloomin’ car. I’m hoping to try a speed networking event next Friday, so fingers crossed that we’ve managed to get it fixed in time.
Confident Networking for Career Success and Satisfaction
The book easily passed the ‘easy to read’ test - it grabbed me straight away and kept me interested throughout. I liked the way that it didn’t jump straight in with the ‘you need to talk to as many people you don’t know as you can’ kind of stuff that usually goes hand in hand with networking advice. It acknowledges that not everybody is comfortable in networking situations and offers practical advice for how you can feel less daunted by it. I was also pleased that the authors recognised the value of online networking and offered some advice specifically about that (though best to ignore their description of ‘forums commonly known as blogging’).
What I wasn’t so satisfied with is that I didn’t feel like I came away from the book with a solid plan of action. I could go back through it and work through the different pieces of advice to slowly increase my confidence and skills, but the book doesn’t offer a particularly structured approach to this. Maybe I’m wanting to have my hand held a bit too much, but I do like it when practical books set you particular goals to achieve.
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Great business forum
Over the last couple of days I’ve joined A1 Business Forums. I’m really impressed so far and am gradually getting to know how it works. Every forum seems to have its own personality and the feeling I’m getting from this one so far is that it’s very friendly and accepting - great if you’re a bit shy about going on and introducing yourself. I got a really warm welcome which made me want to stay and explore a bit more.
One for ‘business communities’ on the resources page.
A brilliant week
Yesterday was the end of the first week of my 90 days of brilliance. Ignoring the breaking-down-car incident it was a pretty good week and I’ve come to the end of it with my motivation still nice and high. One of the things that I’m working on is my networking skills and confidence (so expect some book reviews on these subjects…). I feel like I’ve made a positive start with this:
- I’ve identified various opportunities for networking in our area and signed up for the first few of these.
- I’m half way through a book on ‘confident networking’.
- I’ve been working on stretching my comfort zone by actively looking for things to do that I’d usually be nervous about.
- I’ve joined a local book club - the aim of this is to help me be more confident in talking in a groups. I’m reading the book at the moment and will have the first meeting next week.
Hopefully I’m on my way to feeling more confident in a networking situation.
